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Don’t Wait for a Break Until You’re ‘Worth It’ 

You likely have qualifications, or are aiming towards new certifications or likely both!  As part of working towards my MCC, the highest certification granted by the ICF (International Coach Federation) it’s humbling having to unlearn a lot of what I thought made me a good coach - especially when it comes to getting down to the actions. The actions are great, but my clients are smart people - they know what steps they need to do.However, my coaching clients get to it faster if we spend our time unpicking ‘why’ they want to do the things they say they want to do and the benefits they're aiming for - in order to drive those actions. This can sometimes involve asking ourselves some uncomfortable questions....

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Eating Dinner Together: the less than Obvious Fix

A few years ago, for my parents 40th wedding anniversary I said a few words about my parents. I don’t think they thought I’d lead with ‘...and we ate dinner together every night!’ But for me, this was vital when I look back at what gave us stability.In an era when everyone has their own devices, which can seem more important than the people right in front of you, I know it can be tough, but I’m still an advocate for eating a meal together...I just didn’t know how much research backed it up.  Family meals beat out almost every other activity, including reading books and playing with toys together - when it comes to improving a child’s vocabulary. And...

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Importance of First Followers when Challenging Poor Behaviour

A distraught client of mine recently challenged a racism and misogynistic meme sent by a peer in a private WhatsApp group. They were all very senior white male leaders of his organisation, the ’status quo’ as I call them in ’The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence’.He asked the guy who posted it to remove it because it was offensive, to which the poster queried - ‘But why? I don’t understand what the problem is?  It’s not about you.’  In this very public form, my client responded, ‘At a base minimum you’d get fired if this thread ever went public - but more importantly, it is deeply offensive. It's not about me, but if...

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Who exactly does reverse mentoring benefit?

Have you ever had a mentor or trusted ally who you suspect got as much, if not more, from the relationship that you did? Someone to whom you gave a new perspective, advice or even connections? Good mentoring is never about one person solely benefitting, but I’d likely ask a new question: How do the tangible benefits of reverse mentoring still extend down to the mentee?  It's top of mind as I recently spoke with Tara, a African American client who said that as much as she knew it was an honour to be chosen as a 'reverse mentor' to John, a more senior white man, at her company, Tara suspected John was getting more kudos from their pairing than she was. Certainly,...

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Will being a BS artist get you ahead?

You, no doubt, like to do a bit of due diligence when facing a challenge? In my due diligence to prepare for a short interview with Kaye Adams on BBC Radio Scotland, I searched beyond the attention-grabbing headline of ‘Bluffing is a Sign you are Clever’. Given my focus in ‘The Con Job, that’s the story Kaye wanted to discuss. Indeed, she set it up for me to debate with a man who actually finished his main points about the utility in bluffing by citing that he thought ‘women were better liars’!However, to prepare I knew I need to ensure I understood the original source research that inspired that headline. What emerged was that while it seems bluffing or ‘BS'...

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